Jess is a label queen and frequently aspires to a North Face ratio of 8.2:9. She is able to smoothly insert the word ‘Coolio’ in to 4.2 out of every 6 sentences and will find the expedition 62.1% easier than any other team member due to her 7.9 inch heels she donned at the ball.
Mel shows traditional ginger tendencies for 101.2% of the time and is the owner of 12.2 down jackets which are worn by other members of the team for over 162.3 combined hours of the selection process. 72% of her Christmas list consists of further stuffed feathers.
Dave eats exactly 124 haribo shapes every 5 minutes and is able to create 12.4 snowballs each second to be thrown with frustrating accuracy.
Paul has precisely 93.2 different shapes which he can throw on any dance floor, and is able to raise group moral by 64% as they bond in ridiculing him.
Christopher’s grumpiness factor is equivalent to that of a 53.4 year old, except when on a make shift ice rink where he swiftly enters the risk assessment category at 9.4/10.
Ben is capable of stealing and unwrapping fake Christmas presents in under 23.5 seconds while consuming just 2 pieces of stewed venison in protest against a cheese and parsnip roulade which was 124% baby food.
Laura is 74% pure blond for 82% of the time and will receive 5 hill punishments for referring to any of the esteemed leaders as cute one more time.
Faye slipped over 1032 times on gradients of 0o. This equates to a clumsiness factor of 84%, however is an effective delegator at ensuring boys clear up after themselves for 45% of the time.
Adam maintains a huge grin for approximately 92.17% of the time and stepped up his manliness by accepting a map and donning a side parting for 32% of the time. He achieved 1 accepted proposal.
Ashleigh is naturally blond and this is demonstrated for 42.6% of the time. For the other 51.9% of the time she can be found whinging or on her iphone. Ashleigh has shopped so that 84.1% of her outfits are now coordinated.
Jack, when sleep derived, moans 60% of the time, all of the time! However, he racks up an impressive 19 hill attempts in cold temperatures of -47oC and claims that the ideal spacing between sausages in a sandwich is just 0.1mm.
Callum has been designated as the team thinker and spends 62.3% of the time considering the profound statements that Jack offers. His poles collapsed over 113 times throughout the weekend and were frozen stiff for the other 72% of the time.
Hannah has hair that is 123% curlier than curly fries and enjoys sepending 146 minutes sat out side tesco's in the snow waiting for her team to arrive. On further training weekends she will be doing 17% more hills and has been set the challenge of learning 'can we camp for free please? 'in approximately 4.2 languages.
No comments:
Post a Comment